It’s My Life, It’s Now or Never

I’m trying hard to think positive about vacation this weekend and not about the fact that I told myself 9 months ago when it first became a plan that I wouldn’t look like I do right now. I totally just slacked and thought somehow at the last moment it would all just click into place. So I’m saying here and now, when I get back I will begin again. I see the wonderful pictures of Valerie Bertinelli and she weighed more than I. She looks fantastic and I know she had to work for it. New things, good things, are happening with my business which keep me from snacking in the afternoon. But that does mean I sit more. I’m totally not exercising. I get up in the morning and my feet just hurt so bad, I have no idea why, not the shoes, not the on my feet all day, maybe they too are yearning for a change like carrying around a bit less on them. Glad to be here. If you don’t hear from me for a couple weeks it’s because I’m on my first vacation ever, to sunny Florida, hello Mickey here I come!

As I lay in bed not sleeping as usual I started thinking what if I woke up weighing what I wanted to weigh. Well lets see it would mean I weighed what I weighed 20 yrs ago. 20 Years ago I didn’t exercise, I smoked, I drank and basically ate what I wanted. So today I exercise, I don’t smoke, I rarely drink,  I rarely eat what I want and I don’t lose a pound so how the heck could I maintain if I suddenly or not so suddenly lost all the weight? How do I even get there let alone maintain. I can’t see how I could do much different and yet the weight never leaves me. I can lose 3-4 pounds only to have it come right back  - that’s it.

I think this post is a cry for motivation or more so for hope. It’s just not happening. I’m tired of feeling deprived and not seeing anything for doing it.

It’s finally stopped raining around here, now the clean up begins for many. Luckily for me we’ve not had a whole lot of issues with basements leaking etc. Yesterday I woke with a migraine so I skipped the treadmill, also had the day off so I basically vegged and worked in front of the computer. I’ve been trying to little stints of crunches, 20 at a time, whenever I think of it. It’s a manageable amount and since I watched the correct way to do them video I don’t end up with back pain after. I don’t think I’m doing enough since nothing hurts in the abs area. I guess I’ve come to gauge every workout by how much it hurts after.

I did get up this morning and do treadmill again, 20 min on a steep incline, fast walk. Made chili yesterday, which isn’t bad but it’s what I eat with it that gets me into trouble.  I behaved throughout the day with meals and snacks. I just keep thinking about that bathing suit I have to wear in 3 weeks. Some day, not this vacation, I hope to wear a suit without a cute little skirt attached. Dang cottage cheese thighs, I know those really never go away.

Anyone seen the verseo machine? I ordered one months ago, have yet to see it but it’s supposed to help with the cellulite look. I know there is no cure except probably surgery I won’t do that.

Okay off to start the rest of the day, enjoy!

Is there somewhere out there a chart that tells the calories a person should be taking in? My sister says 900 calories a day, that sounds way wrong. I tried to tell her her metabolism will go into safe mode and start slowing down because it will think she’s sick but she says no when the dr. put her on 1200 calories a day she gained a whole lot of weight. Anyone?

I was able to get myself out of bed, pretty easy for an insomniac it’s like a bed of torture. I was able to do incline treadmill for 20 minutes, ate a good healthy breakfast. Did so far 40 crunches. Had a good lunch of salad with grilled chicken that I made myself. Dinner hasn’t been planned, probably fast food for the kids, I’ll go with another salad or a black bean burger.

I did a very very scary thing this morning, I tried on my bathing suit. We’re off on our first vacation ever to Florida in April. The bathing suit didn’t fit, luckily I have another. The thing is I knew I was going to Disney way back in Sept. and I’ve done nothing about it. Sure I exercised and ate right but that gets me no where, I certainly could have done more. I have a huge issue of procrastination, it’s huge and it’s in every area of my life. I’m a deadline junky. Well the vacation is now past a deadline I can do anything about so I’m going to have to live with it. All I can do is start today and know from this point on I’m doing it. You heard it here first.  I can live with how I look right now, not real happy about the cottage cheese on my thighs but there is not a think I can do about it now. Thanks for being here with me, it’s nice to be in a place were everyone understands and supports. Kudos to us all.

Food Log

Exercise Log

Ok I didn’t behave myself at dinner but I did open up and share some issues with my significant other which when I was done felt like I lost a whole lot of weight. I have to hold onto that feeling and take it into the other areas now that require my attention. Woke up with a nasty headache this morning, it’s raining cats and dogs here and barometer changes mean migraines for me. I have to go to the grocery store today, something I love to do, it’s a little escape for me. I love buying fresh veggies, fruit I don’t have a lot of favorites but veggies I’m a big fan of. Maybe I’ll make up some homemade hummous and a cucumber sauce with some grilled chicken. I can eat that for lunch all week. I make the cuke sauce w/greek yogurt which is the best stuff-I use it anytime I need sour cream. Hummous I hear is good for you but not sure if it’s too caloric in nature. It’s a great protein and so easy to make. Cannot stand chick pea in any other form other than hummous.

I have two picky children so food is always such a problem I either have to make two meals one for me and one for them or I have to eat the things they like which aren’t always the healthiest. I always throw in a salad or something though so I try and fill up on that. One of the things I think that sabatoges diets is the having to sacrifice eating the things we love. There has to be a give and take, just not so much giving, but if once and a while maybe we could eat the things we like that are not necessarily the key ingredient to any good diet I think we’ll go far. If we’re always feeling like we’re giving something else up we set ourselves up to fail.

Food Log

That’s it, just wondering hoped by typing it I would figure it out. Think I’ll go for the celery w/laughing cow.

I’m here because I can’t seem to get this weight loss started. I do eat pretty healthy, I’m not keen on sweets at all, I try and eat healthy and I don’t eat more often than I should. Exercise motivation is lacking. I love the way I feel after I get off the treadmill unfortunately it’s how I feel before that keeps me off it. I’m always so tired, I’m probably depressed and I’ll be talking to the doctor about that soon but that’s no reason not to do this it’s more a reason TO do this. I deal with pain in my left foot all the time due to being born with a club foot. I had corrective surgery when I was young and that worked out well but as I age things tend to hurt more. Not really a good excuse to not exercise either since I was doing it.

I think that is the major issue no matter what I do I see absolutely no difference in my weight or body.  I do all this and nothing happens. What the heck am I not doing. That’s the main issue I stop doing anything, why bother if nothing is happening, yes I know I’m healthier blah blah blah. I have high blood pressure and it did seem to help that but I want more I want to see it! I thought maybe joining here and talking to others that feel the same way might help. My sister is trying to but she’s seems to be too competive with me, if I say I ran yesterday she’ll say I ran yesterday AND the day before.

I’ve not said this before but really started me on this downward spiral is actually seeing my sister and noticing how big she looked from the waist down. My thinking, if she is this big I must be huge and no one is telling me! Every time I see her I see no difference and she’s exercising a whole lot more than I am and according to her eating very healthy too. So where is the hope.

I do try and follow Weight Watchers online, I’m not a joiner to meetings so online is the online thing I’ll do. But even online it’s hard to track things when you are in a hurry they often times don’t have what you’ve eaten on their lists and you wing it. Excuses excuses, I hate listening to these conversations in my head.

Food Log

Exercise Log